Ask any person on the streets or in deep space and they’ll tell you: Nothing in the planetary system is better than Battlestar Galactica. If that wasn’t true, then we wouldn’t have amassed this showy collection of Battlestar Galactica shirts for the legions of loyal fans that frequent our website. No, in fact, we’d probably have a low-rent clone of the show in its place, and that would involve an entirely separate low-rent alternate reality. Fortunately, that fate has been avoided, and we’re here in front of you today to shower you with our Galactica merchandise.
All you have to do to thank us is to not annihilate our store with Cylon nuclear technology. If you promise to do that, we will repay you by constantly keeping a stocked supply of our Battlestar clothing. It’s the least we can do to show our support to fellow humans. Just don’t do anything to throw off the precarious balance that allows us to exist in this reality and not the other one where Battlestar Galactica is replaced by some ho-hum sci-fi show.